Sanjana- So let me tell you a little story about how we came to call ourselves " The Rebellious Grahinis".One fine day we were chilling on a beautiful breezy day and suddenly we happened to glance towards this academy for women called "Supatni" which I guess means " Good Wife". So basically they teach you various arts to be a good wife!!!!Wow!!! Isn't that great???? Well it is. But somehow the whole thing struck us a little differently.....the more we meditated on this word, the more agitated we felt about the concept of teaching a woman to be a good wife. Intense debates arose within us as we just couldn't resonate with this regressive name!!! The word" Supatni" haunted us to no ends. Lol!!! We tried to laugh about the whole thing but somehow we could'nt find it within ourselves to think it was funny. Infact I debated with my husband why in the 21st century would anyone use this regressive name for a learning centre. My husband just couldn't understand why we were stressing so much the above mentioned name.
Neha- Okay so who is this entity called "The Good Wife"
Good Wife:- A woman who conforms to the beliefs and perceptions of the society is a good wife. A woman who sacrifices her dreams and aspirations for her family is lauded with this esteemed title. A woman who helps her husband in advancing his career is given this badge of honor. A woman who cooks well. A woman who learns any new skill not for herself but for supporting her dearest husbands dreams. The proverbial good wife puts her husband on a pedestal and looks at him with stars in her eyes my " Mr Know it all". He knows what's best for me!! Without him " I don't have any astitva". "Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano pati babu".Lol!!! A good wife is constantly trying to prove her love for her man by being a good cook,a good mother,a good daughter in law. Good! Good! Good!. She is incessantly trying to prove that she is worthy of his love and adoration by pushing herself, by putting everyones needs first and her own, last. OMG!!! I AM already so tired of this concept of "Good Wife" A good wife suppresses her feelings and anger within herself and shows a brave and smiling face to the world. She is constantly trying to prove that she is a super woman. And the poor little wife does all this to be called a "Good and Dutiful wife" by the patriarchal society!!! And one day the "Good Wife" succumb to a life threatening diseases because of suppression of their feelings. Of not acknowledging how they are actually feeling. Hiding their grandness and letting others shine.
I feel sad that society has given us these belief systems that is so patriarchal "Its all about him, darling" .Take care of him.The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Behind every successful man is a woman. Without a man;a woman is nothing. Pati parmeshwar hota Hain!!! Mera Pati mera devta hain!!! Keep a fast for his long life. What about mine?! Its all so regressive.
But what about women who do not fit into this mould; are they bad human beings. Why aren't we allowed to be different? Why do we try to put every woman in " Supatni" mould??? It makes us wonder where is the Academy called "Supati". Why aren't men trained to be a good husband. Anyways I can go on and on about this .
Crux of the matter is we are calling ourselves " Rebellious Grahinis" who do not conform to the society's perception of a good wife. And we will be blogging about our experiences as we take on the journey of Life!!!
|Rebellious Grahinis-Sanjana Phukan Raktim and Neha Khurana Pathak|